Should I Cancel My Wedding?
Should I cancel my wedding?? Or postpone my wedding again??? This is the question most of our 2021 couples (who were originally our 2020 couples) are asking.
At Designer Weddings Inc. we say…ABSOLUTELY NOT….GO FOR IT. Before you do however, here are 2 important questions you might want to ask yourself. Think them through carefully, talk about them as a couple and if you are honest with yourself you can still make your wedding The Best Day Ever.
WHAT IS YOUR REASON FOR MARRYING?
This is a great question that may require more thought than you think. For some couples making the marriage commitment is THE most important event in their future. It defines the relationship and makes it real. It is when their “Happily Ever After” actually begins. They wouldn’t think of skipping this very important step. For this couple an intimate wedding may be the most romantic and unforgettable day of their life. No dreams were sacrificed, everything became a reality.
For others it may just be a piece of paper, a past formality that has no real meaning and putting it off indefinitely would make no difference at all. They are just doing it for someone else, maybe even their parents. So, for this couple postponing would be no problem at all and the whole topic could be revisited at some later date. In fact, they would even breathe a sigh of relief that they had a good excuse to avoid all the stress and expense of a wedding.
For the third couple they would be disappointed about postponing the wedding, but it isn’t the actual ceremony that they are looking forward to but the party afterwards. They just want good food, drinks, good company and good music. It is a chance to just enjoy getting together with all their friends and loved ones. A party like no party they ever had before.
RETURN TO THE DAY YOU MADE THE DECISION
As a couple you need to mentally return to the day the question was popped and remember what you were feeling and the reason the question was asked in the first place. Were you thinking of your vows, a feeling of obligation to your parents or peers or excited about the fantastic party that would be talked about for years hosted by you!
It is vitally important that both parties feel the same way before moving forward with any decision and that your motives are clear.
WHAT IS THE MAIN FOCUS OF OUR WEDDING DAY?
Once you have shared with your significant other your real feelings about your wedding day it will be fairly easy to determine what the main focus.
COUPLE #1 – Committed to Marriage Itself
Couples committed to marriage Itself should move forward with a very romantic, very intimate wedding. Even though it is small, because the ceremony itself is your dream you will not be disappointed. I know myself; I was so in love; I couldn’t wait for my “Happy Ever After” to begin. As it turned out I had less than 20 people at the ceremony but over 250 at the reception. It was the best of both worlds and perfect in every way.
Plan an intimate ceremony this year and plan a huge party for a time when you are sure you can have a large group. IF you have the budget, go ahead and book a venue, invite all your friends and just have “the best party ever” for your 1st or 2nd anniversary.
Not surprisingly a lot of couples find that since the wedding is over, they no longer want/need to have the big party and they are quite satisfied inviting a number of friends over for a fun backyard Barbeque.
COUPLE #2 – Marrying for Formality
Marrying for formality couples would probably be happy postponing their wedding until such time as they can have a large group. If you are marrying as a formality (perhaps you have already been together 10 years) the timing isn’t that important. The important thing is that everyone who for some reason feels invested in your marriage (ie. Parents, kids, peers) can wait. They have waited this long; they can wait a little longer. Besides with the small weddings there is a chance they won’t be invited to the actual ceremony and that is the whole reason you are doing it.
COUPLE #3 – PARTY PEOPLE
For the real party people, the ones who are excited to have the best party ever…definitely POSTPONE or CANCEL until future notice! You will not be able to have the wedding of your dreams, and anything less would be a disappointment. As sad as it may be…you are better off waiting. Save your money and plan for a future time when a party of your magnitude will be allowed.
The one thing that is so important, if you get nothing else out of this blog; your wedding should be a reflection of YOU. Recognize why you are marrying and then be true to your feelings. You may be disappointed that you have to wait BUT you will NOT be disappointed in your wedding itself. It will still be the wedding of your dreams. Anything less, and you may regret it later.